August 2019
Remembering John McCain
“Despite our differences, much more unites us than divides us.” Senator McCain
I just finished reading John McCain’s last book, “The Restless Wave.” I believe anyone interested in American politics should read this book. I have always been an independent voter, so I have a difficult time comprehending why being a Republican or a Democrat today has become the guiding principle for so many people in our divided country. It appears, party affiliation influences thought and action more so than religious principles. After reading, “The Restless Wave,” I believe John McCain was driven by his principles and placed them above his party. He fought and dedicated his life to his principles. He did not always vote the party line; he would not support policies that did not comport with his morals.
While I do not agree with John McCain on all his opinions, I do have great respect for him. I believe he was a statesman and a patriot. We have many politicians today, but not many statesmen. I define a politician as someone who is in politics and mind set is a zero-sum game. While a statesman is someone skilled in politics and looks for a “win-win solution. A statesman finds resolutions to problems based on the common ground of love of country, mutual respects for all constituents, and a desire for a better future. John McCain had an unwavering commitment to collaboration and working across the aisle for the good of the nation. He understood that you need to seek bipartisanship to tackle the large problems. “But we’re at a place in our political history when passing legislation through the House with bipartisan support is considered by some folks a greater evil than the problem it’s intended to solve,’ as John McCain stated in “The Restless Wave.”
“The Restless Wave,” gave us insight on how John McCain lived his principles inspiring us to live our principles; principles are more important than any political party demands. There is nothing that divides a country more than politics, especially when we see the other party as a threat to the nation’s well-being. Are you contributing to making the divide larger? Are you able to understand different perspectives or do you dismiss someone because they have a different viewpoint? Do you jump to a place of fear, saying someone, not like you, will ruin our country? I was reading a post by a lady that was put in a personal predicament, not at all political in nature. The comments were complimentary on how well she handled the situation and others gave her further advice. Unfortunately, there was one comment, blaming everything on a political party obviously different from the reviewer, though he said it with colorful language. Is this really what we have become? When something goes wrong, it is automatically thought to be the fault of the other party, either the Democrats or the Republicans? By blaming what we fear on the other party, we stop seeing others as individuals, as humans. It has also become an excuse for not taking responsibility.
We will never agree on everything; but we need ensure what we do believe is based on sound principles and respect for each other enough to have the discourse. According to Wikipedia, “McCain was one of five Republicans most likely to vote in line with President Obama’s position on legislation.” Principles were more important to him than the party position. Senator McCain related the story of how President Obama summoned him to his presidential office for the sake of understanding his perspective on an issue he vehemently opposed. John McCain stated after the discourse neither of them changed their perspective, but the discourse allowed them to understand the opposing view. When we respect each other, we seek to understand their position which aids in moving toward a common good. “Acknowledging shared values can see us through our challenges today if we have the wisdom to trust in them again.” John McCain
My favorite quote from the “Restless Wave:” “It is your character, and your character alone, that will make your life happy or unhappy.”
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1501178008/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=liveki-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1501178008&linkId=857ea8340057b9eb39c86e8b8682fab4May 2019
Imperfection
I recently read Dr. Brené Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.” Her TED talk on “Vulnerability” is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world. She has spent her life researching shame and vulnerability. Through her research, she discovered a group of people she refers to as “Wholehearted.” As a self-professed perfectionist, the research shattered her world and led to a breakdown as she realized the havoc of perfectionism in her own life.
Brené’s thoughts on Perfectionism:
In the research there’s a significant difference between perfectionism and healthy striving or striving for excellence. Perfectionism is the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen.
Perfectionism is also very different than self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: “I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect.” Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think? Perfectionism is a hustle.
Last, perfectionism is not the key to success. In fact, research shows that perfectionism hampers achievement. Perfectionism is correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis or missed opportunities. The fear of failing, making mistakes, not meeting people’s expectations, and being criticized keeps us outside of the arena where healthy competition and striving unfolds. Brené Brown
When we strive for perfectionism, we are judging ourselves and admitting we are not good enough the way we are. Perfectionism is the ego’s trickery. It manufactures a world where we feel in control but in actuality, it robs us by taking courage, compassion and connectiveness away. Perfectionism provides rules for judging not only ourselves but others, right down to the type of towels used. It provides justification for us to judge, complain, and be right down mean and vindictive; because our rules were not followed. It is armor for keeping us in ego’s control. Her research shows that perfectionism can lead to suffocating those close to you.
Her breakdown was fostered in part by her realization that her perfectionism was creating stress, anxiety, depression, and not how she wanted to live her life. She called it a mid-life unraveling. She longed for the joy and peace she researched in whole-hearted people. She realized that her perfectionism was holding her back. She needed to do what her book is sub-titled, “Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.” She turned her breakdown around with the help of a therapist to a Spiritual Awakening. In her book, she discusses the many ways she brought joy into her life but the most impactful way was adding spiritual practices in her life and giving control of her life to God instead of her ego. She accepted the challenges of using her gifts to help others even more by being courageous and living out of her comfort zone as exemplified by her new Netflix special, “Call to Courage.” She used her intuition (how the Holy Spirit talks to us) to guide her life instead of arguing against it. She learned to give compassion, not only to others, but most importantly to herself.
Brené refers to herself as a recovering perfectionist and is now living a whole-hearted life exemplified by courage, compassion, and connection. She’s learning how to be good enough instead of perfect. As Brené states,
“It makes sense to me that the gifts of imperfection are Courage. Compassion, and Connection because when I think back to my life before this work, I remember being judgmental, fearful, and alone. Human perfection can never be reached; so, when we strive for perfectionism, anxiety will be felt in our bodies. Instead of trying to reach the elusive perfect state, let’s aim for whole heartedness.”
Thank you, Brené for your courage to be vulnerable and to share your personal struggles and to call us to live whole-heartedly with joy in our hearts.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
Different Reactions
My husband and I are having quite an adventure. We were chosen to drive a new Winnebago RV to Alaska. It was not on our bucket list but when we were given the opportunity, we were very excited to say, “Yes!” In this case, it is about the journey AND the destination.
What has been amazing are the different reactions we received from different people when we told them our plans. Most people saw it as the adventure it is and embraced our joy whether it was something they would enjoy doing. One of my friends, who lives in Alaska in the summer, gave us wonderful information about possible routes and must do stops. Then, there are those that exposed their fears through their voiced concerns, some of which I shared initially. These concerns ranged from:
Where are you going to stay? – route and reservations made
Running out of gas – we have the latest issue of the “Alaska Milepost” with every gas station identified
Weather – out of our control
Cleanliness – we will be the first to stay overnight in the RV
Driving a big rig – my husband is great at towing and backing up a boat. He did great last summer when we rented a camper if you don’t count the time he nudged the camper parked behind us. We took out the extra insurance to give us piece of mind.
Sitting too long – many hikes are planned
Being bored – I’m looking forward to being unplugged, books are packed as is my fully loaded kindle. I’m enjoying having time for meditating, writing and maybe needle crafting. The scenery has been breath-taking.
I had expected the above concerns. However, there was one serious response that took me by surprise, “Oh, Barb, why are you acting so old? How could you turn into an old person?” Getting old is not one of my fears, I have learned you need to embrace the seasons of your life to find joy. Watching my parents age, I learned to do while you still can. This trip is quite an adventure and not for the faint-hearted. Even though we met a couple that has done this trip fourteen times, I’m glad we are doing it now. There is no better way of feeling young at heart than having new experiences, sure beats watching TV.
We all have different perspectives based on our past and our personalities. We judge others based on our perspectives. It is so easy to project our fears onto others. So, thanks to the many that supported our adventure, especially those that have no desire to do it. So far, it has been as wonderful as you all imagine it would be. I am very grateful.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
It All Began With A Turkey Sub
This week’s post was written by Gail Denham. I asked her why she wrote, “It All Began with a Turkey Sub.” She stated, “The homeless situation is endless and unanswerable. It occurs to me that many just need a permanent address, encouragement and some hope. A few have beat the odds.”
It All Began with A Turkey Sub
Frank stared at the vision who layered turkey and cucumbers on a six i-ch whole wheat loaf. Light from the fly-specked windows revealed auburn streaks through her dark-brown hair. Frank noticed a few gray hairs.
Yet the woman’s face was smooth. Maybe she’s prematurely gray. “Remember, lots of cucumbers,” Frank reminded, wanting to say something, even if it were veggie talk. “Oh, and mayo, that grainy mustard, tomato, and cheese.”
She handed Frank the sandwich. He nearly dropped it. His arthritis fingers felt the cold weather. His small gas heater didn’t keep his tent warm. But he was thankful to have a tent in a safe place.
All through lunch, Frank sneaked peeks at the gal making subs. She smiled a lot. If only. Naw! He had lots of nothing to offer. Lunch today was an unusual treat. He’d found a black bag full of refundable bottles near a trash can. He could afford lunch. No soda, only water, and a warm place to sit. He dug in pockets, tried to find a tip.
Then she was there, beside his booth. “Thought you could use this extra sandwich. New guy made it wrong. We’d toss it out.”
How did she know? This vision of lovely guessed he was broke. Sure he’d tried hard to find work. Years back he’d nearly finished college when the downturn hit. Only choice was the service. Six long years and all he had to show for it was nothing but fragments in his leg. Now he attended night classes. With luck, he’d finish in a couple years. He walked to classes, couldn’t afford the bus. He studied by lantern light.
The woman held out the foot long. His face and ears burned. Charity. “Don’t mean to offend,”she said softly. As if meals at the mission didn’t humiliate enough.
“No worries,” he murmured. “Thanks.”
Still she lingered. “I’m Emmy, short for Emily. No offense meant. Honest, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there.”
Frank tried to smile. She was so darn cute. When she grinned, he could see wrinkles at her eyes. But that smile. Wow.
“Thanks Emmy. I’m Frank. Yes, I can use this extra. How long have you worked here?”
“About eight months,” Emmy said. “Finally got a room with an older lady. I help her clean. She provides room and breakfast. Can’t complain.”
Easier for women,” Frank thought. Can’t see anyone giving me a room.
Heck, why be negative. When someone is nice and so cute.
“Listen Frank. Come by tomorrow for lunch. I’ll save any extras.” Emmy blurted out. “Owner doesn’t care. He’s a good guy, started from the bottom too. Actually he sometimes acts as if he likes me a bit too much, if you get my meaning.” Emmy giggled. “I’m going out on a limb here,” Emily went on. “Maybe we could visit the art museum when I get off around two. I’m studying art.”
She was bold too. Frank liked that. And why not? It was warm in the art museum. “I’m taking classes,” Frank offered. “It’s hard, since I live pretty simple. Well, I live in a tent is the truth.”
“I’d like to hear about your studies,” Emmy said, shyly. “I have trouble staying focused. I need a friend to talk to.”
Friend! Frank had none. Hard to invite anyone to visit when you live in a tent. “Sure. I’d like that. Tomorrow then.” Frank could hardly swallow. She wanted to be his friend.
He’d get a good shower tonight at the mission. Most of the time he avoided their showers in the evenings. So many guys with drug problems or worse. Listen to him. Trying to pass himself off as better than other homeless.
“See you tomorrow,” he told Emmy. “Thanks for the extra. But it’s your cheerful smile that made my day.” If he found enough bottles, he could spring for espressos at the café over on Hyde, after the art museum. Frank walked slow toward the door. When he looked back, Emmy was watching. His heart skipped a beat.
I’ll borrow a sharper razor and shampoo. Sun warmed his head. This was one special day. Wonder if St. Vincent would have nice jeans and socks. And a shirt – even pink. Don’t think Emmy will mind. With fresh clothes, he’d put in another job application in the morning. He’d keep trying. Especially now he felt hope again.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
We See What We Want to See
“What you see reflects your thinking, and your thinking but reflects the choice of what you want to see.” – ACIM
Our legal system is based on the premise that you are innocent until proven guilty. The presumption of innocence is that the accuser holds the burden of proof that the accused did the crime. Assumptions made can be wrong when facts are brought to light.
It seems we are all too ready to judge these days, as illustrated by this simplex example. One of my friends was troubled because my husband took down his Facebook post. She was sure it was because he misunderstood her comment. I was very perplexed because my husband doesn’t post. He only has a Facebook page because my daughter set it up for him.
When I returned home, I asked him. He said he was messaging with our granddaughter, who just acquired a tablet. I have no idea how he did it, but he accidentally posted a snap chat picture and then removed it as soon as he realized it. My friend, not knowing my husband very well, made a wrong assumption of his intention.
Our perceptions are based on our past experiences and what we assume. We never know what is in another’s heart, but we assume we do. We assume we know someone’s intention; our ego too often convinces us to think the worse. Our thinking does influence what we see. Perhaps, we should try harder to see the innocence.
In a world where the court of public opinion are fast to find you guilty if you are from the opposite political party; in a world where you are judged by your latest Instagram picture; in a world where you judge every post instantly on Facebook whether it is “like” worthy; maybe, just maybe we should try to see the other side of the coin, maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Maybe we should not be so fast to assume the worse. Maybe we should be slower to judge and faster to love.
We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are. Anasis Nin
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
April 2019
Overcoming Adversities
“Never allow any obstacle or adversity to define who you are.” Chris Mitchell
Today, I am proud to announce the first “Celebrating Your Life” award. I created this award when I heard the remarkable story of Chris Mitchell. What he has overcome is astounding and truly inspirational.
Chris’s mother was exposed to the German measles which caused Chris to be born with several imperfections. He was born with cataracts which resulted in him being legally blind, a constricted aorta, and with some of his intestines resided outside of his body. When he finally started to talk, his severe speech impediment was evident.
In addition to his physical challenges, he also had mental challenges including a verbally abusive father. He was diagnosed with ADHD. His ADHD contributed to his struggles and setbacks including being expelled from high school and college.
He overcame these obstacles. He convinced an internet provider to institute a college internship. After the semester the company offered him a part-time job even though they were not hiring at the time. In spite of his being legally blind, he has done a variety of jobs including radio announcer and web designer.
As an adult, Chris had an ischemic stroke to his spinal cord which took away his ability to walk, stand or even feed himself. This was his biggest challenge especially because he was engaged to be married. With the help of his fiance (now wife), he fought hard to regain his ability to feed himself, the ability to walk again and try to get back his independence. He has written an autobiography and he now inspire others to conquer their challenges.
It has not been an easy life. Chris has asked himself, “WHY ME?” However, he never gave up, he figured out how to move on and to triumph over his obstacles. He found hope in his faith.
In Chris’s words, “God has a reason why he allowed this to happen in my life and if I search for the answer while allowing God to guide my steps, I knew I will find it in time. It took me years of searching and contemplating, but I now know that every one of my imperfections were given to me for a very special reason – and that is to make a positive difference in other people’s lives. Today every health issue I faced as a child has given me the ability to both be empathetic and connect with people I meet who have failing health challenges or disabilities. Today I use all the trouble that my ADHD and/or stubbornness got me into to mentor young people. Using those experiences, I show them that we all make mistakes. I also share with them that regardless of the size of our mistakes, those bad decisions do not have to define who we are.Today I use the struggles I faced as I fought to get my life back after my ischemic stroke to my spinal cord to inspire others to overcome any adversities in their lives.”
If you want to know more about Chris, you can checkout his website: https://imchrismitchell.com/
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
Chaos
“Embracing your chaos might be the path to finding peace.” Rachel Hollis
I recently read the #1 New York Times best-selling book, “Girl, Wash Your Face,” written by Rachel Hollis who was named by Inc. Magazine as one of the “Top 30 Entrepreneurs under 30.”
Her book is a self-help book focusing on how women, especially moms, can effect change in their own lives. People either love or hate her book. She has almost 10,000 reviews on Amazon and 82% gave her 5 stars out of 5; but 9% gave her only one star. In my opinion, the one-star reviews say more about the reviewers than the book. Even though I am not the target audience (no one has called me girl recently); I found a lot to ponder.
My favorite quote of the book, “I’m not going to talk about finding your peace; I’m going to talk about embracing your chaos…Ironically, I think embracing your chaos might be the path to finding peace.” We all have chaos in our lives, when a child spills milk or a bird poops on us, when we get a flat tire or other unplanned incidents. Chaotic incidents are part of life. Rachel explained we deal with chaos and the resulting stress in three ways: we ignore it, battle it, or drown in it.
We ignore the chaos by pretending it is not there. We work harder and harder. We push through it, telling ourselves we can muddle through it. In the short term this can work. The problem is the effect the stress has on your body in the long term. It can show up as hives, insomnia, in a myriad of other ways, or in Rachel’s case as Bell’s palsy.
The second way we deal with chaos is by battling it. We sometimes battle it on a different field from where it originated. We clean everything in sight. We do everything to look picture perfect, hoping we can get our inside to match our perfect outside. The trouble with the battle is we will eventually lose. We believe we can do enough or organize enough or plan enough to make sure nothing is difficult. However, we will only make ourselves feel like a failure when life is too challenging, and chaos happens. In the end, it makes us angry; we feel out of control and disappointed.
The third way we deal with the stress of chaos is to drown in it. We get overwhelmed, we see stress everywhere, it feels insurmountable. It never gets better, so we wallow, we complain, we crawl under the covers and let chaos win. In the short term, a long nap may energize us. In the long term, if we don’t get up and swim, we drown.
Rachel states the problem with all these things is that it implies you are the one in control. To some extent that is true and is the main theme of her book. You are in control of yourself. The problem is you cannot control the actions of others: the dog throwing-up, the serviceman showing up late, the storm blowing of your roof shingles, your friend not using the right emoji in a text message, or a thousand of other unplanned acts. When you think you can control others, you’ll find yourself angry, frustrated, disrespected and stressed. When you can’t control others, anger and hate replace empathy and hope.
Another of Rachel’s wise quotes, “When you assume you’re in total control, you don’t take time to seek out a relationship with God, you use alternate means to try and manufacturer some peace.” I believe peace, joy and contentment come from God’s love that resides in your soul. When you live with God’s love in your heart, you can embrace the chaos and choose peace.
Rachel advises, “Remember that someone else is praying to have the kind of chaos you’re crying about. What I mean is, the things you think are so difficult could be someone else’s dream come true. I don’t say that to make you feel bad, or to negate your difficult experience; but perspective may help you see your chaos is a gigantic blessing. Adjusting your view can work wonders.” This advice has helped me.
So, when things don’t go as planned, how do you deal with chaos? Rachel’s advice, “Start by giving yourself some grace.” Start by being kind to yourself. Find your peace in God’s love.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
How Strong is Your Net?
I don’t know what it is, but this year the colors of the spring flowers just seem brighter. The daffodils, the forsythia bushes, redbud and magnolia trees just seem more vibrant. This made me think about how some people are just vibrant and full of life, and Mary came immediately to mind. I asked Mary what brings such joy to her life. She responded that she just loves people. She gets joy when she can do something to bring joy to someone else or to make another’s life easier. Nothing makes her happier than seeing her own joy reflected in others’ faces.
Jesus told us to be fishers of men, and Mary believes that God desires for us to be connected with others. She explained, “It is as if God has given us a big fishing net. Each time we connect with another in His love, those two points on the net are connected, and the net becomes bigger and stronger. When we disconnect with someone, whether intentionally or not, the net weakens in that one place. By reconnecting, we can help add or restore strength to the net God has given us.”
Mary lives her life caring for others. She attempts to exhibit God’s love to those she meets. She also works to keep old relationships connected. She recently returned from a 20-day road trip where she reconnected with friends and family she hadn’t seen in a while. For some it had been only months, and for others it had been nearly 50 years! She saw more than 30 people in all, and she even made a couple of new connections. The purpose of Mary’s trips was to see how people in her net are doing, and she believes God leads her to know which connections to make each time. There are always surprises. In this last trip, she said what she noticed most was increased humility in many of her connections. Most were happy, some had suffered greatly, and generally all were content with their places in life.
Mary has worked at many jobs. She has been a stock broker, real estate broker, spa manager, accountant and now a gallery owner for the second time. She explained these jobs all provided the opportunity of reaching out to others in one way or another.
Mary’s life has not always been easy. She has lost not only her parents but both of her younger brothers. She has survived breast cancer and financial devastation. She says that every time her heart is broken, it becomes softer. When tragedy takes away those we love, we have a choice to remain sad, or as Mary states, find more people to love.
“Surviving tough times can give us a deeper understanding of others. God’s grace equips us with His mercy so that we can pour out the compassion we all need from time to time.”
With gratitude in my heart, I am very honored to bestow this month’s “Caring Heart Award” to Mary. She brings God’s grace to everything she does. If you would like to meet Mary, drop in at the Branson West Art Gallery. She is the owner and a very talented artist. While at the gallery, look for Mary’s fish paintings; some of them take her over a year to paint; talk about dedication to detail. Mary, thank you for all you do.
Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart award?
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
March 2019
The Song in Your Head
Have you ever woken up with a song in your head? You know, a song that is in your mind and just won’t leave you. The song just continues to pop in and permeate your thoughts. This has happened to me many times but none so profound as when my son was fighting cancer. Those songs gave me hope and determination and love. I knew they were messages from God. On the day after my son died, I heard the song, “Carry on Wayward Son,” by Kansas and from that day I know my son is close to me whenever I hear that song.
Recently, I have been hearing George Harrison’s, “Give Me Love,” in the morning when I wake up. in his autobiographic book, “I, Me, Mine,” George Harrison described this song as a prayer and a personal statement between himself, the Lord, and whoever likes it. If you don’t know the lyrics, here they are:
Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
Heart and soul
Om m m m m m m m m m m m m
M m m my lord
Please take hold of my hand, that
I might understand you
Won’t you please
Oh won’t you
Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
Heart and soul
Om m m m m m m m m m m m m m
M m m my lord
Please take hold of my hand, that
I might understand youSongwriters: George Harrison
Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company
I have no doubt hearing the song in my head is an answer to a prayer. Every time I hear this song it takes me to a place of peace and love and I feel closer to God. So, pay attention to the song in your head, it may be an answer to your prayer or a prayer you need to sing. Thank you, George Harrison for this beautiful song.
On a personal note, I would like to give a special thank you to all the people I received Christmas cards from that expressed how much this blog means to them. Those notes meant more than you will ever know.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
January 2019
Gifts of Warmth and Music
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.” Steve Jobs
Congratulations to Rick and Reba, this month’s Caring Heart Award winners! Rick and Reba, owners of Car Fi in Springfield, Missouri, were inspired by the book “Meaningful Work: A Quest To Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, And Feed Your Soul,” By Shawn Askinosie and Lawren Askinosie. Shawn discusses the need of a business to look in your own neighborhood to find a need. The Car Fi business is located on busy commercial street between two bus stops. People were walking and biking in front of their business in freezing weather without coats. They knew they had to do something. They did not hesitate, they did something immediately. Reba went to several thrift stores and bought some coats and placed them in their parking lot with the sign, “Need a coat? Take One. Have a coat? Leave one.”
Last winter over 1000 coats found new owners. This winter even more coats were given. It is not unusual for 20 coats to find new recipients on cold days. Due to so many coats, gloves, and hats being donated, a building was placed in front of the store called “ House of Coats.” It keeps things dry when weather is rainy and provides a storage area until the items are put out on the street coat rack.
One of the recipients told Reba that he saw the street light shining in their parking lot one evening when it was snowing. He was on his way to a friend’s home to get warm. He said the light looked like a beacon as he was biking the street. There was nothing he needed more in that moment than a warm coat. There was no where else he could have gone in the middle of that cold night to get a coat.
Reba has a passion for helping the homeless and those in need and feels they should be treated without judgement. Her motto is, “Each of us is the same in God’s eyes.” Her perspective is homelessness is just a temporary condition. Cards are placed in the pockets with an encouraging message. The card also has the Car-Fi address so they can be passed to a friend that may need a coat.
Another charity Rick and Reba are passionate about is Play It Forward SWMO. The mission is to ensure children in the SW Missouri are provided with the opportunity to discover his or her musical talents. Since 2015, over a hundred musical instruments have been given to low income children. They have done this by repairing used instruments that have been sitting in people’s basements and attics. To find out more see playitforwardswmo.org.
If you have used instruments, coast, scarves, gloves or much needed socks, you can drop them off at Car-Fi at 1600 S Glenstone Ave, Springfield, MO. Reba gets satisfaction from giving to those in need, but she also gets satisfaction from seeing the happiness in the eyes of the donors as they give, knowing they are making a difference by giving a gift of warmth or music,
Two other businesses in the surrounding area have taken up the torch and started the same model in their neighborhood…. So the good news and blessings are growing.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart award?
Using Your Passion to Spread Cheer
When you combine your passion with spreading cheer, it becomes a win-win for all involved. Judy Bell, an accomplished artist, wrote the following story about how she spreads cheer through her art.
I have two dear friends that are both battling cancer, so I made prints of my recent art contest entry, and I framed them for each of them. When I recently visited my friend in Reno, I gave her the print and asked her to hang it where she could see it every day. I told her that the original is hanging in my reading room, where I go every day in the afternoon to say my prayers, and every day when I see it, I say a special prayer for both of my friends who are battling cancer. It’s a daily reminder for me to remember them, and even for a brief moment it connects us, even though we are separated by many miles. My friend named the painting “Smiley”, and every time we talk it brings happiness to both of our hearts knowing that just looking at the painting instantly connects us.
What a wonderful way to spread cheer! What is your passion and how can you use it to spread cheer in the coming year?
Everyone thinks they are kind, but how kind are you, really? Live Kinder helps you consider how you can be kinder. Order the book for yourself and others to help make our world a kinder place.
November 2018
Dolly’s Bench
Our next door neighbors, Dolly and Jerry, have a bench in their front yard with the word, “Welcome” written on it. It exemplifies who they are. Jerry and Dolly welcomed us from the minute we started building our house. They were our mentors, telling us how to get our garbage pick-up started, advising how to get a vegetation permit from the Army Corps of Engineers, explaining when people from Missouri talk about Johnny Morris they mean the owner of Bass Pro not the football player, and most importantly, explaining the neighborhood history. It is with a heavy heart I’m writing this post, because our sweet loving neighbor, Dolly, passed away a little over a week ago.
Dolly and Jerry welcomed us with open arms to the neighborhood, but it was because of the bench I was able to know Dolly. Whenever Joel saw Dolly on the bench, he would tell me, and I would drop everything and go sit with Dolly. On the bench, we would talk about everything or just relax and enjoy the weather for a few minutes or an hour, whatever our schedules would allow. We would sit and watch her grandsons ride their bikes. We would watch my granddaughters get proficient on their rollerblades. My favorite time was watching Ally preform impromptu concerts with Violet interpreting through dance. What joy those concerts brought both of us. I’m not sure they would have happened, if not for the bench and the captive audience it holds.
Dolly was strong in both love and conviction. We bonded through sharing the wisdom and love found in grandmothers’ hearts. When we visited with Dolly in the hospital she thanked us for being so good to her, but she had it wrong; we are the grateful one. Thank you, Dolly, for welcoming us. We will never forget your kindness. I have been blessed with great next door neighbors but Dolly is the one I miss the most.
I will miss those talks on the bench, but I now choose to visualize her in God’s kitchen making her famous chocolate chip cookies for all the children in heaven. Dolly, we love you and miss you.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!
Never Underestimate What Kindness Can Do
…Even in a Crystal Mine…
One day that is difficult is the anniversary of my son’s death. I try not to let my son’s death define who I am but he will always live in my heart. Some year’s I have spent the time with my daughter-in-law and my son’s two children, my grandchildren, remembering together our happy memories. Some years I spend it with my daughter and her family by going to one of my son’s favorite places, the Morton Arboretum. If you ever do go to the Morton Arboretum, you will find my son’s memorial brick, close to my dear friend’s son’s memorial brick. Both of our son’s died from cancer at a too early age.
No matter whom I am with, I need to be in nature on November 8th, to honor how Brian has bought so many to appreciate the nature of our beautiful country. Two years ago we decided to spend a day at Wegner’s Crystal Mine in Mt Ida, Arkansas. It was a wonderful choice. They take you into a forest where you dig for crystals. We went on an open air truck with two couples. As we were going to the crystal field, I was thinking about Brian. I was thinking how he would have loved doing this with us.
I looked at the two couples that just happen to be going with us. Both of the men looked like my Brian with their beards, wearing their Carhartts. Tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help feeling how unfair it was that I was with these strangers, instead of spending the time with my son, who would have loved doing this. I buried my head in my husband’s shoulder so no one would see. I didn’t want to ruin the day for me or anyone.
Both of the other couples had been there numerous times and ran off to their favorite places. We had no clue what to do. Bill, the driver, showed us some things to look for to help us. I actually had fun sitting in the red clay shoveling for crystals.
When it was almost time to leave, one of the couple came over and showed us a beautiful rock with crystals on it and asked if we wanted it. Their buckets were full and they thought we would appreciate having it because our buckets were pretty empty in comparison. They share their area so we could find even more before our time was up. I asked him if I could hug him for his kindness and told him he looked like my son. We embraced and for a moment I felt I had Brian’s arms around me. He never knew what that hug meant or what I was going through that day, but I will never forget him with his necklace that looked just like Brian’s.
Then Bill came back for us and he told me that a pile of crystals were for me, he had been hunting for crystals for us. I was so appreciative of his kindness that day. He was so sweet and considerate; it helped to restore my faith in mankind. These two very kind gestures were simple to give but were monumental to the receiver…me. Any other day, they may not have been needed, but that day I needed to see the love of others.
Never, ever, underestimate what kindness can do. You never know what the other person is going through. A little kindness can take away tears. They did for me that day.
Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com I love hearing your kindness stories. Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!